"Space makes me write to you, meaning now that we're states away from each other I feel comfortable engaging you. No doubt that makes you angry... I expect an awkward relationship at first, that's for sure."

"I'll write to you in my zone of comfort. If you fail to reply, fine. If you refuse e-mails, that's your business."

"Was it not you who said you'd be willing to do anything for someone you loved."

"Stephen would have never asked me if I wanted to have a family with him, partly because he was so opposed to settling down, firecracker that he was. I could, however, see myself married to him with kids, labrador retrievers, a house, etc. He needed me to tell him that I loved him, however... settle down with him, have kids, and enjoy life married with a family. I would be so happy with that."

"It seems like you're telling me he had assumptions regarding your personality that have broken down and that is why he no longer loves you."

"It's just tough getting away from petty thoughts. Imagination seems like the last thing to break through to my colleagues."

"I think it's interesting how someone tries to forget someone he once loved. I've tried to do this with Steve, but I don't want to anymore. I don't even know if he's already forgotten me. I wouldn't mind terribly if he did; however, it would upset me greatly if his lovable self and receptive, thoughtful mind had changed."

"Did you get a chance to talk with him last Wednesday?"

"You need a distraction. You need a mission. Imagine a treasure..."

"I picture dark, beautiful nights with lightning bugs and humid air."

"At least I won't have to deal with seeing this guy I recently dated. I made the mistake of getting close to this guy I thought was cute, even though I knew it wouldn't last. I lie to myself, thinking that I don't care about him anymore; however Friday, when he and I were at a birthday party and some guy called him, I felt really jealous."

"It would cost me so much to be reckless. But it would be worth it if I felt better. All of the opportunities to do so are in place or close enough. I feel like none of them kick in because I'm too strongly hung on doing things right."

"I feel as if I have no one here with whom I can just say, 'Hey, I'm burnt, let's go out and have a great night!'... I'd like to just go out dancing, meet some guys, walk around, see part of a movie, then take pictures, play pool, and collapse at home."

"I wish my fraternity members made me feel good about myself; I wish they inspired me... I want to get into their minds and make them feel something great, but I don't know how. Something tells me this will be harder, very hard, almost impossible... I want this, just like I want water or air. I want them to be great, fantastic people."

"I don't know what attracts me to complicated things, but I suspect it's that I'm used to them."

"My concern tonight is that someone said I was acting nervous... I know the reason is David, the guy I dated... You would understand why it hurts; it hurts because he is not what I want. He is not loyal or anti-social. I'm disappointed because he meets my standards in some ways but not in others, because I've gotten so close to him and now I have to see who I was involved with hooking up with other guys... I'm not calm, as I should be. I'm nervous, because I care. I wonder how long or what experience I need to not care anymore."

"For at least this week, I've got a good line of parties to enjoy. I'm looking forward to hedonism. But after that, I don't know what I'll do."

"I guess it's good that you feel sad about [...] because it shows that you're still sensitive."

Brandon's list of qualities he wants in a guy: "1.physically attractive, 2.intelligent, 3.calm, 4.anti-social, 5.passionate, 6.loyal, and 7.generous."

"What is greatness? Well, it's probably selfless, so it doesn't interest me that much. But I'd like to be great for myself and to do that I've got to inspire myself or find something else that can."

"I'm the oddity in my family."

"I've been horribly depressed and wanted to lay low."

"There are a host of things depressing me and I'm choosing not to face them head on anymore, but rather ignore them and focus on other things."

"As always, I'm alone and I seem likely to remain that way for a long time. Neither my pain nor my luck changes; just my circumstances."
"I would ask [OE] out one day. I almost feel like I'm settling; it's fair to say that I'm interested in him. But am I still imagining some dream guy on an island kept exclusively for me? No, I haven't thought about him in a while and his image is fading fast."

"Your email was thoughtful. You still have great sense. I knew when I opened your email I would read something I would enjoy."

"I'll try to find someone to date. 'I'm desperate,' I want to say, 'although I'm not taking applications. So can I buy you a drink?'"

"I still hope for that chance encounter with someone that will last beyond the night. I might even settle for someone who just makes me feel happy about myself during that night."

"I had a terrific time knowing I was single and feeling the emptiness shaken on the floor."

"I've attached a poem I'm working on to give [OE] for Valentine's Day. I need some help writing it and I could use your advice."

"I feel the least prepared in my class, most likely the only one who has not se en the professor to talk about his first draft."
"[OE]'s the one I'm going to pursue. I secured a date for Valentines day with him."

"I currently hate myself for wanting him and not knowing how to handle that."

"I really am desperate. I wish I weren't, that I wouldn't lose sleep of something like this... I can't get over immaturely I behave around someone I really like. This is something people are supposed to get over when they are in middle school. Now how do I tell him I like him without seeming as desperate as I really am?"

"I found myself loathing [Daniel] so often in our relationship. He's a sweet-tongued serpent, and I don't know if you ever picked that up from his writing, but it bugged the hell out of me."

"I formally asked [OE] out last Saturday. My inhibitions were lost with him..."

"I'm a very private person and I don't like revealing anything unless I feel comfortable, especially my friends, happiness, feelings, etc."

"You always have one mind on this side of the country to engage; still, I understand that it becomes painful when I fail to write for long periods of time."
"I know EXACTLY what your jealousy is like; I felt it when you had your dates with Dave. The obvious difference between you and I is that I can set my expectations lower."

J: "So now that you're happily busy with [OE], you're not writing any more?"

"I'm tired of feeling alone and dwelling on things that really don't matter... I'm jealous and angry... What's going on? That's what I want to know. Where am I going and what's going to happen to me?"

"Just get off your lazy ass and do something else beside thinking about [...]. Write a story, a short one, for me."

"I generally think negatively of my history because it's awfully lonely."

"I have a goal of dating more. Then I have my personal goals of working out more and reading more literature. But seriously, these things don't excite me. I really don't know what would at this point."

"I lament that fact that I haven't written anything in such a long time. I'm really not that busy. But it's getting harder to motivate myself to study."

"I'm a little lonely today although not nearly as much as I used to feel. These days, I just don't get that lonely. Yet I feel my self-esteem is still low. I'm not sure why that is."

B: "I don't know whether you'll be happy or sad to hear that I've never put you or Tom on the to-do list... I'm at work now and although it's gotten better, I'm incredibly bored."
J: "Once you told me you had no internet access at work. Why?"

"The effect of the place, that is, the bar atmosphere and all has quickly disintegrated in my mind into a cheap parlour with mostly older guys and desperate ones too. Last night I spoke with a guy who was around forty... he confessed his insecurities with his age and weight, etc, being a gay man in a such a appearance-judging environment."

"I'm going to put $1000 dollars in a savings account. It'll be a vacation fund... Don't plan anything yet, but brainstorm."

Julia's riddle.

Brandon's guess.

"Rainy depression fresh in mind."

B: "I screen my calls."
J: "Who are you trying to avoid now anyway?"

J: "And when will you be able to fit me in your extemely busy schedule? You wanted me to call this weekend, I called, and you're not picking up the phone again."

"His stare makes me blush... He accused me of playing games when I wouldn't tell him my real name. He's mad I'm a game-player."

"Today was alone and quiet, but very satisfying. I wish for two of these days in a row followed shortly by anticipated fun."

"I don't know if I will ever love anyone like him again. I don't think it's possible. I feel in my soul as if I should say: "I know it's not going to happen." Still, I don't want to lose hope. Or maybe I don't want to face reality, and hope is irrelevant so long as it's in the way of what's left."

"When the prof. called on me, I responded flustered, embarrassed and illogically... lol. Well, I'm treating myself, getting drunk and watching Love Actually."

"I only notice I get frustrated with people more easily. That is, I'm set off by mere words often enough."

Brandon asks Julia's advice about photos for his dating profile.

"[My mother has] been working 60 hour weeks. It just made me sad because I don't want her working that much and I can't reduce her burden... It's this feeling of helplessness and seeing my own mother having to get by alone. It's terrible."

"I told Dan I wanted to call or see David again. He said it sounded like a despe rate idea. I agree, but still I want that sense of hope and happiness I had bef ore."

"I do make mistakes and do regret some of the things I do, but there's no brilliance in inaction for when one's will goes the other way."
"Living the best way possible isn't going to happen. When you say that you're speaking in moral terms, but you leave out that most people with strict morals are unhappy, or, at least, some I know."

"There is breathing room to have sex with other people without necessarily engaging to that person. There's room to define this act as important or insignificant."

"I have an idea you and I can work on for next semester that might help both of us (with what I'm not sure)."

"Now there must be dance and tragedy and all will be as it should."

Brandon has a nightmare.

J: "Happiness can be so strong that it almost has to be not just experienced but survived."
B: "I very much agree with you about how happiness should feel."

J (quoting an article) "The essence of love is a partner responding to a need, not because it's a good deal--but even when it's not."

"I wouldn't generally be civil to someone like that."

B (on New Year's day): "So you think that if I have 'my man' I'll ditch you and not talk to you?"
J: "Yes, that's right."
B: "No, that won't happen."
J (present): "What do you think is beginning to happen right now?"

"Yesterday was a day like any other. I called Ryan, but didn't get him anything."

J: "Is it the case that when people consider something to be too much of an effort, it's because they don't see any benefit to be gotten from doing it?"

"How do you want me to be?"
Julia answers the question.

J: "Why, even though you're happy to receive, you're reluctant to give?"

Brandon and Julia are both sick.

"I imagined myself in another person's life. I kept certain traits that I wish I had more of, like calmness and gentleness."

B: "I never meant to sign on."
J: "You used to sign on to talk when you were taking a break from studying, yeah, that again was before you found a boyfriend."

J: "If you take away the sex and you don't think there is much left, then it never was much of a relationship in the first place."

Brandon: C+. Julia: F.

J: "If I have such wonderful friends, how come I'm always alone?"

"Think of new places."

"There is NO LIMIT. And that limitlessness frightens people."

"Be careful not to let your feelings get too involved too early."

J: "Don't tell me 'I'll get back to you in 3-4 days'... You get back to someone for an interview in a few days. You get back (or not) to a mediocre date in a few days. You get back to a client in a few days."

"What happened the other day? I know I couldn't call you back, but also you weren't on AIM."

"I don't know what to anticipate, but I wanted to ask how you are."

"I hate getting e-mails form people from whom I want more than I can have. I understand what it's like to be unsatisfied. This e-mail is more understanding than I would expect from such people."

"I don't know why I'm contacting you through this medium [MySpace], but I least I know whether or not you've been online."

J: "Small talk emails won't change what you did or what I think of it."

"Imagine that his life is yours to direct, although you know his desire lies outside your arms. If you had this power over him, what would you do with him?"

"By the way, are you ever going to update your profile?"

J: "You turning me away was worse than if my own family had done it--we are closer than I'm with them."

"I realize we still have a disagreement about certain things, but I wanted to say hi anyway. I never considered signs before, but I found the description of librans really inaccurate. You're not social or romantic, and I'd say you're more intellectual than artistic."

"I'm just writing to make sure everything is ok."

J: "Tell me honestly--was whatever you ended up doing last winter break worth losing a friend over?"

J: "Your attempts to impose this kind of meaningless control on how and when people can contact you show a struggle with things you can't control at all, and are always scrambling to deal with."

J: "If I knew what time you'd be on [AIM], I would have made the effort to be. You must know this and your refusal to coordinate tells me you don't really care to do it."

Julia uncovers an infidelity.

J: "Do you remember how sympathetic and available and willing to talk you were back then? I remember that, and I also remember the reason: you had just been rejected by some guy and needed a shoulder to cry on."

J: "Yet another example of why we have to *coordinate* when we talk, or why I ask for your phone number."

"I want to continue to talk to you; however, friendship with you is strained. When I first started talking to you, I thought you were cold and intelligent. That's what I liked about you."